There are some statistics we may not want to look at but if we want to prevent unwanted pregnancies, STD’s, the need to have abortions, and a host of other problems we need to take a look at what is really going on with our young people today.

In the most recent study by the CDC on “Risky Teen Behavior” they found that

Among U.S. high school students surveyed in 2019

  • 38% had ever had sexual intercourse.
  • 9% had four or more sexual partners.
  • 7% had been physically forced to have sexual intercourse when they did not want to.
  • 27% had had sexual intercourse during the previous 3 months, and, of these
  • 46% did not use a condom the last time they had sex.
  • 12% did not use any method to prevent pregnancy.
  • 21% had drunk alcohol or used drugs before last sexual intercourse.
  • Less than 10% of all students have ever been tested for HIV.
  • Less than 10% of all students have been tested for sexually transmitted diseases during the past year.

Source: National Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2019

It’s great that another study showed that about 98% of girls indicated that they had used birth control but when they are used, the most frequently used method is condoms which, with typical use, are only about 82% effective followed by withdrawal (80% effective) and the pill, (91% effective.) Though the ideal success rate of these birth control measures is higher, they are not always used correctly.

Source: Which type of birth control is most effective?- Medical News Today, 2022 

In other words, there are no birth control methods that are 100% effective besides abstinence. So what does that mean for males and females who want to have sex?  You have to think about whether it is worth it to take the risk of having intercourse at all if you want to avoid pregnancy. Are you ready for the possible consequences? Which option will you choose?

OPTION 1

Child Support- Guys, the girl you get pregnant may decide to have the baby but she may decide she doesn’t want to be with you. You will pay child support for the next 18 years. In most states, it is about 15-20% of your gross income plus medical costs. (Entry-level job at $15 an hour) = $387 a month in child support. You will also have to pay medical costs for the mother and baby if she doesn’t have insurance as well and then there is custody, visitation, and other people in your child’s life that you have no control over. Are you ready for this option?

OPTION 2

Parenting- Perhaps you will decide that having a baby is the best choice so you decide to co-parent. Your whole life changes massively, whether you are ready or not or whether you can afford it or not. You need a huge mind shift if your original plan was to just go out and have a good time one night and now you are trying to figure out how to get a job, go to school, find daycare, and co-parent with someone who will be scared, stressed out and moody.  Having a child can be the most amazing miraculous thing you will ever experience but do you really want to get started in high school?

OPTION 3

Adoption- Perhaps you both decide you aren’t ready for a child and you don’t want to go through with an abortion. There are thousands of families waiting to adopt a child. This has to be a joint decision and not an easy one, especially for the girl/woman who has to carry the baby for 9 months. She may get too attached and not be able to follow through with the adoption which again changes your plans.

OPTION 4

Abortion- Perhaps she will decide to have an abortion. Some of you may say great! That may be exactly what you want,  but others may have adjusted to the reality of having and raising a child and you decide to step up and do that. Reality check….. It is not your choice. Even if you want to raise your child it is not your decision if she terminates the pregnancy, nor is it your decision if you want her to have an abortion. It is a woman’s body and you do not have any rights until, when, and if, there is a live birth.

So think about these options for a moment. Most people these days don’t really play these scenarios to the end, especially teens. Clearly, raising children is something we have all observed in our families, our communities or at school. Teens, however, are not all that focused on putting together that acting on their sexual urges and romantic passions can make them parents as quick as a sperm swims to an egg. Just like that!

Even fewer teens have given any thought whatsoever to abortion, but we can’t get away from it being in the news every day and the ongoing battle of pro-life vs, pro-choice and where women can get abortions now and for how many weeks is it legal and in what states?

No matter what a young man may think about abortion, when he finds out that he got someone pregnant and she is going to have an abortion, he will face feelings he has never had before along with a host of questions that will come flooding in. What is abortion anyway? Is it legal? When does life begin? What is viability? Where can you get an abortion? Is it dangerous? How much will it cost?  Are there any after effects? What are the father’s rights?

I am not a doctor, and I am not God, so I am not going to try to answer all those questions, but I am a counselor who has worked with dozens of guys and hundreds of girls/women who have had a range of emotions when it came to making a decision about, and dealing with the aftermath of an abortion. I also did my Master’s Thesis on “Post Abortion Stress” and it is real. I have experienced it myself.

In some abortion clinics an ultra sound is done so parents can see the fetus and listen to the heartbeat. They are then sent home to think about the decision for 24 hours before returning to complete the abortion if they still want to do that. For those with certain religious beliefs, abortion is considered murder at any stage, and that weighs very heavy on many people. No matter what your beliefs, feelings of anxiety, fear, depression, guilt, helplessness, shame, and regret can be mixed in with a sense of relief which can be very confusing for a young person who just wanted to have a little fun or prove their love for someone by having sex.

So guys, the next time you feel the urge to have intercourse with a girl/woman, play the reality tape to the end. Is that moment of self-gratification having intercourse worth the risk of pregnancy you have no control over? For your sake and hers, choose wisely and PLAY IT TO THE END.

Linda Larson Schlitz is an international best-selling author, speaker, counselor and life coach. She is the recipient of the Athena Award, the Red Cross Hero of the Year, the Wausau Business Person of the Year and has a plaque from Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker that she is “an example for the citizens of Wisconsin to follow” Linda is available to speak on topics related to unplanned pregnancy, abortion, and addiction. You can reach her at linda@lindalarsonschlitz.com