Let’s be honest: if there was a voice screaming at us everytime we opened the regrigerator between meals telling us we don’t need a snack we would be scared and much thinner. Instead, we have something else that screams at us—  cravings.

For some of us, it’s chocolate.  For others, it’s late-night online shopping.  But for many women over 40, it’s that*evening drink that promises,  “Just one glass… you’ve earned it.”

You love God.  You serve at church. You pray for your kids and grandkids.  

And yet, there’s that bottle (or box… no judgment) calling your name at 5:00 p.m. like it’s part of the family.

If that’s you, I want to suggest something that might surprise you:Your cravings may not be proof that you’re a failure.  They might be a spiritual signal. (or hormones…more on that in another blog)

Let’s talk about what your urge to drink might really be trying to tell you from a spiritual (biblical)  point of view.

Your Craving Is Saying: “I’m Thirsty… but Not Just for Wine”

We know the verses. We’ve crocheted them on pillows and posted them on Facebook and sang them in church:

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you.” – Psalm 63:1  

 “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.” – Psalm 42:1

Great job! It’s a mission field out there!  But when 5:00 p.m. hits (or maybe wine-0’clock is 4 pm like it was for me) and the house finally gets quiet, we often reach for that drink instead of Christ and it’s not to take communion!

Here’s the truth: Most cravings are distorted signals. When you reach for a drink, your brain may be saying:

– “I’m exhausted.”  

– “I’m lonely.”  

– “I’m overwhelmed.”  

– “I’m sad and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Your soul is thirsty—but not for alcohol. It’s thirsty for comfort, connection, rest, and peace. Jesus told the Samaritan woman: “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again,  but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.” – John 4:13–14  

If your evening glass has become your automatic go-to, it may simply be revealing a deeper truth. like: “I don’t yet know how to take this thirst to God.” That’s not condemnation.  That’s an invitation.

Your Craving Is Saying: “You’re in a Battle, Not Just a Bad Habit”

I wish I could tell you that once you make that spiritual connection with God, you will instantly crave kale and early bedtimes. But scripture describes a different reality, it says:

 “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit…” – Galatians 5:16–17  

And: 

“We do not wrestle against flesh and blood,but against… spiritual forces of evil…” – Ephesians 6:12  

In other words, that intense pull toward “just one drink” isn’t just a quirky personality flaw.  It’s part of a spiritual battle of the mind. My mom always used to say there is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other… which one are you going to listen to?

The enemy whispers:

 “You deserve this.”  

 “It’s been a hard day.”  

 “You’ll quit… later.”  

The Spirit whispers:

 “Come to Me.”  

 “I am your peace.”  

 “You’re stronger than you feel because I am in you.”

When cravings hit, many women think: “If I were really a good Christian, I wouldn’t feel this way.” But the fact is, if you didn’t care about doing the right thing you wouldn’t even be in a war. You’d just give in without a fight.

Take heart because the existence of the battle is actually evidence that God is at work in you so you don’t need to feel ashamed because you have a craving. 

Your Craving Is Saying: “Pay Attention to the Lies You’re Believing”

Underneath almost every destructive craving is a lie. For example, here are some real classics:

“I can’t relax without a drink.”  

“Everyone my age drinks—it’s normal.”  

“I’ll never really change.”  

“I’m too old; this is just who I am now.”

But God is very clear that transformation happens from the inside out and he has given us the tools to make it happen:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” – Romans 12:2  

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32  

When a craving hits, try this simple exercise:

1. Name the lie.

“ The lie I’m believing right now is: I need this to unwind.” or

“ People will give me a hard time if I don’t have a drink with them”

2.  Replace it with truth.  

 “Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.’ – Matthew 11:28  

     So the truth you want to say to yourself to reprogram your brain and mind is: *I can find real rest in Him, even if it feels unfamiliar at first.*

Or the lie is:

–  “I’ll never change.”  

Truth:  “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion…” Philippians 1:6  

Over time, this practice of “lie out, truth in” actually re-wires your brain and renews your mind—spiritually and neurologically. Yes, you might feel a bit silly at first, having these little conversations with yourself.  

But honestly, talking back to lies is far less silly than talking to a bottle. It is that “Not today devil” conversation that we need to have to win the spiritual battle.

4. Your Craving Is Saying: “This Is a Decision Point—Which Way Will You Turn?”

A craving is not a verdict that leads you to an inevitable destination of being locked up in a prison of addiction. It’s a fork in the road.

You can: walk toward the bottle, or turn toward the throne of grace.

Scripture promises us:

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you will be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13  

That “way of escape” might look like:

– Stepping outside and breathing fresh air.  

– Texting a sober sister.  

– Praying out loud, even if it’s just:  

  “Help, Lord. This is hard, and I want You more than this drink—  even if my feelings haven’t caught up yet.”  

– Putting on worship music.  

– Reading one of your “go-to” verses and declaring it.

Hebrews reminds us: “Let us then, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16  

Craving moments are not opportunities for God to shame you.  They’re opportunities for you to run to Him.

5.  Your Craving Is Saying: “This Is Where God Wants to Transform You”

Most women wish God would just remove the cravings. I’d like the instant miracle package, please. No struggle, no sweating, just holy autopilot from now on and sometimes God does deliver people instantly.  

But often, He walks us through a process because He’s after more than just taking away wine. He wants to reshape your heart, your identity, your habits, your whole life.

One of the first Bible verses I memorized that gave me hope for a new life (because the one I was living was a real mess) is: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17  

And:

 “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you.” – Ezekiel 36:26  

And:

“It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” – Philippians 2:13  

Every time you face a craving and choose God, even if it’s shaky, even if you’re crying, even if you have to white-knuckle for a few minutes, you’re training a new you. Think of each “no” to the bottle and “yes” to God as laying down one more brick in the foundation of your new, sober, Spirit-led life.

Is it always pretty? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely! So, What Are Your Cravings Saying Today? Next time that urge to drink flares up, instead of going straight to: “What’s wrong with me?” try asking:

– “What am I really thirsty for right now?”  

– “What lie am I believing?”  

– “What truth does God want to speak into this moment?”  

– “What’s my way of escape—and will I take it?”

Your cravings don’t have to be your enemy. In God’s hands, they can become messengers, revealing where He wants to heal, comfort, and transform you.

Ready for Help Walking This Out?

If you’re an older woman (however you define that… usually women over 40 who are at risk for menopause and gray hair and anyone beyond that who isn’t dead yet- LOL) who’s tired of the shame, the “I’ll start over Monday” cycle, and the quiet war between your faith and your drinking, you don’t have to do this alone.

I’ve created a faith-based, evidence-based program and community to help women like you to:

– Understand what’s really driving your cravings  

– Renew your mind and rewire your thought patterns  

– Build an alcohol-free life filled with peace, joy, and God-given purpose  

– Help other women to feel supported, encouraged and hopeful which comes by offering Help Opportunity Praise and Encouragement that will come from you and others

I did a video talk on this topic that you can check out on YOUTUBE HERE

You can learn more and take the next steps by joining our Silver Sober Sisters community:  

👉Take the t 5-Day Mindful Sobriety Challengeo pinpoint some of the areas of concern for you. 

👉Join our Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/silversobersisters

WHY? Because nothing changes if nothing changes, and the rest of your life is still worth transforming. You can be sober, free, and fully alive in the purpose God created you for.

You are loved!

Blessings and Peace

Linda