The Mask I Almost Wore to Church

I own more masks than any woman should admit. Some are literal, there was the year I dressed as a giant cucumber for a church harvest festival, and let me tell you, nobody takes a cucumber seriously. But the masks that matter aren’t the ones made of plastic and elastic. They’re the ones we put on before we leave the house in the morning.

Mine used to be a smile, a nicely made-up face, and a very confident nod. If my face had a screensaver, it would have read: “I’m fine.”

I was not fine. I was drinking too much, carrying shame I couldn’t name, and doing a spectacular job of looking like a woman who had it all together. And then one day I realized something that changed everything: I was exhausting myself performing for an audience of One who could already see the back of the stage.

God saw it all. He always had. And when I finally understood that, I mean REALLY understood it, the mask stopped being a shield and started feeling like a suffocation device.

That’s what I talked about in my “Take off the Mask” live talk I did yesterday. And as I’ve been praying about it since, I kept coming back to something we’re all staring down right now: an election.

God sees it all and that’s the good news!

Let’s start with the verse I keep returning to: “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

Notice the phrase “unveiled faces?” Paul isn’t saying we become shiny and flawless. He’s saying we stop covering up so we can actually see, and be seen, clearly. Transformation doesn’t happen behind the veil. It happens in the open.

Scripture is remarkably blunt about this. Psalm 139:1-4 says God has searched us and knows us, and “before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” Hebrews 4:13 puts it plainly: “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.”

And then there’s Genesis 3:10, the very first mask in human history: I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Hiding started as a fear response, and it’s still one. We hide when we’re ashamed. We hide when we’re afraid of what people will think. We hide when we’re not ready to admit that the thing we’re protecting is actually the thing keeping us stuck.

Here’s the mercy in it: being fully seen by God is not a threat. It’s a release! You cannot be rejected for something He already knows and already loves you through.

TRY THE MASK AUDIT

Here are three questions I ask myself and before we go anywhere near a ballot, we have to do the internal work. I call this the mask audit.

Grab a journal — and a cup of coffee, because this one gets honest.

1. What am I pretending is fine right now? Not what’s actually fine. What am I “performing” as fine? The answer usually shows up in my body first. Things like the tight shoulders, the clenched jaw, headache or stomach issues.

2. Who am I most afraid of disappointing? Nine times out of ten, taking off the mask means disappointing somebody’s expectations. That’s not a reason to leave it on. Proverbs 29:25 says “the fear of man is a snare+ and honey” that snare has held too many of us for too long.

3. What would I do differently if I believed God already knew and still loved me anyway? That question is where the freedom lives. That’s where the person God made you to be starts breathing again.

I’ve watched this happen with women in our recovery homes and in my Purpose Driven Recovery Academy communities. The moment a woman says the true thing out loud – the secret, the struggle, the shame – she expects the room to shrink. Instead, she looks up and the room has gotten bigger. Every time. Because “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32) is not a motivational poster. It’s a promise.

And now… the election. Yes, we’re going there.

As I write this, we’re two days out from Election Day, Tuesday, November 3. And I want to say something that might sound strange for a faith-and-transformation blog: I am not going to tell you how to vote.

Not because I don’t care. Because I care too much about your soul to hand it a pre-filled ballot.

Here’s what I will say. If we’re going to take off the mask in our personal lives, in our recovery, in our marriages and in our friendships, then we don’t get to put it back on in the voting booth.

And friend, that mask gets worn hard this time of year.

It’s the mask of “I’m voting this way because it’s what my people do, and I’m not asking questions.”

It’s the mask of “I’ll just not vote so nobody’s mad at me.”

It’s the mask of “I’m not political” said with a tight smile, while quietly nursing a whole lot of opinions.

It’s the mask of voting from fear and calling it discernment.

It’s the mask of voting from resentment and calling it righteousness.

I’ve worn a few of these. I’ve cast a vote with my jaw clenched and my heart closed, and I’ve also sat one out while pretending I was above it all. Neither one left me proud. And neither one is honest.

God doesn’t just see how we vote. He sees why we vote. He sees what we’re hoping the ballot box will do for us and He knows whether we’ve quietly asked it to be the savior only He can be. That’s the real question of this season: “what am I asking the election to do for me?”

If the answer is “give me certainty, safety, and control,” then we’ve outsourced to Caesar something Caesar cannot deliver. Galatians 5:1 reminds us, “It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” and political fear is one of the heaviest yokes I’ve ever watched women of faith put on.

A mask-off checklist for the voting booth

So here’s a practical, prayerful way to walk into that booth- do it with your real face- not your mask on. Five questions, asked with God and a pen:

1. Am I informed, or just inflamed? Have I actually read anything beyond the posts that already agree with me? One candidate’s ad is not research. Neither is an angry comment section. Ask God for a teachable spirit before you ask the internet for an opinion.

2. Am I voting from fear or from faith? Fear produces urgency; faith produces clarity. If I’m holding my ballot like a fire extinguisher, I should pause.

3. What does my conscience say when the room is empty? This is the mask-off moment. Take your ballot into the closet with God and vote the way you’d vote if no one were watching because Someone is, and He’s not on the ballot.

4. Am I voting my whole faith, or just my favorite verse? A single issue isn’t a whole person, and a whole person isn’t a single issue. Consider character, integrity, and what actually helps the vulnerable, not just what makes me feel safe.

5. Can I still love my neighbor on November 4? This is the truest test of all. 1 Samuel 16:7 says “the Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Can I keep looking at hearts, not faces or labels. when the results come in?

If you can’t answer “yes” to the last one yet, that’s not a shame problem. That’s an invitation to more honesty. And honesty, unlike a ballot, can be revisited any day of the year.

The prayer I’m praying this week-

Father, You already see me. You know my fears, my opinions, my history, and my hidden places – and You have not turned away. Help me stop performing and start being honest with myself and with You. Give me a clear mind, a teachable spirit, and a tender heart as I vote. Keep me from worshipping the outcome and let me worship You instead. Whatever happens Tuesday, keep me unveiled. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Take it off

Masks were never meant to be permanent. They’re meant for costumes and cucumber festivals.

Wherever you are today sober or not, certain about November or unsettled in your spirit – God is not waiting for your polished face. He’s waiting for your true one.

You were never loved for your cover-up. You were loved in your hiding. So go ahead, Let the light in.